the run down...

well little Hugo decided to make a big scary entrance into the world.

i experienced the easiest most symptom free pregnancy one could possibly have.

labour and delivery made up for it.

for anyone that doesn't want labor details you should probably not read any further.

i went to the hospital for an ultrasound and non stress test on thursday october 13th and was told that due to a few small reasons that i was going to be induced. they were going to do it right then and there, but i was totally not ready - i had no idea that i was going to be admitted so i had not brought anything with me and i had my car there... the baby was under no stress so they booked me to come back the next morning to be admitted and induced.

i went home and scrambled around trying to get as much done as i could since i was going to be coming back with a baby and no time to do anything but be a mom for the first while.

first thing Friday morning i got a ride to the hospital and was induced.
they warned me that it wouldn't necessarily do anything right away and to just hold tight and they would get me into a room to wait it out. turns out there was no room available where i was supposed to be so i got to stay for a while where i was and read. i wasn't too worried about it.
by about 1:00 i was told they had a room ready for me and since i had missed lunch i went and dropped my stuff off and headed down to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat.
by this point i was cramping a bit (or so i thought) so once i got back to my room it was time to be hooked up to the monitors again and see how things were progressing. turns out what i thought was cramps was actually mid level contractions that were about a minute apart.
the "cramps" were getting a bit worse but still only uncomfortable.  it continued this way for the rest of the afternoon. by dinner time they were getting painful but not unbearably so. they checked and i was barely dilated so they told me that they were going to give me a shot of gravol and morphine and that i should try and sleep because nothing would be happening until the next day.
by about 11:00 that night the gravol had worn off and i was in a LOT of pain. the contractions were about 15 seconds apart and they REALLY hurt. they checked and i was still barely dilated. i thought that i might be asking for an epidural after all... if i ever got to 3cm (that's the point where they'll do an epidural). they hooked me back up to the monitors to check the intensity of the contractions and the baby's heartbeat and left me for 20 minutes to see what the results were. when they came back they were a bit worried and the doctor stayed in the room and kept monitoring the contractions and the baby. the contractions were off the chart (literally) and every contraction was causing little Hugo's heartbeat to slow down dramatically. it dipped so low at one point that the doctor just started pushing my bed and yelling to get the OR ready that i needed an emergency C-section. they didn't even take me out of the hospital bed and put me on a stretcher to take me there... it happened THAT fast.
throughout all of this i am still having what they are calling "off the charts" contractions, they're bashing into all the doorways and walls trying to maneuver the bed down the hall, and taking my clothes off en-route to the OR. once we get to the OR they try and get an IV in but they were having a really hard time so 4 tries later (with the bruises to prove it) they finally end up with one in the back of my right hand. then they have to take the Cervidil out because it is apparently "aggravating my uterus" and they want the contractions to stop so they can do the Csection. at this point they realize that in half an hour i've gone from barely dilated to 7cm and my contractions were back to back. too bad it doesn't matter any more.

next comes the spinal.
not the best experience i've ever had... first of all, trying to sit still and in a 90 degree position while having back to back contractions is NOT easy.
long story short, the spinal didn't work.
the first incision they told me i would feel some pressure.
i felt a lot more than pressure. when i told them i could feel them cutting they put me under general anesthetic. the funny thing is that as much as that hurt, it was no worse than the contractions i was still having.
after that i was out completely and don't remember anything until a jumble of random things in the OR while they were finishing closing me up. turns out the spinal did work, just not fast enough.
i know they were talking to me but i could barely make sense of it. i don't remember much of what they said but i remember asking them if the baby was ok... i'm pretty sure i did that repeatedly because i was so drugged up that i couldn't remember asking the first 3 or 4 times.

i was in the recovery room and they brought in my mom and again i was asking about Hugo...
he was in NICU getting tests done because he was not very responsive when he was born. turns out it was a reaction to the morphine they had given me at dinner time and even though it was out of my system it was still affecting him.
i got to see him for about half an hour and then i was taken back to my hospital room to finish my post op recovery while he was monitored and had a few more tests.

he tested perfectly and was finally brought to me at about 7am saturday morning.
i hadn't slept yet because i was so worried about him.
i managed to get a couple hours sleep once they brought him to me and i fed him a bottle of formula since that was what they gave me to feed him and i wasn't able to breast feed him yet.

at about 9:30 am saturday morning the lactation consultant came to see me since i was adamant that i was going to breastfeed him. unfortunately a stretcher was wheeled into my room at about 10:00 am to take me to nuclear medicine for testing. because of the intensity of my contractions during my c-section i had a lot of extra tearing and damage so they needed to do scans to make sure that everything was closed up ok. what i didn't know at the time was that because of the dye they inject to do the scans i was not going to be able to breastfeed for yet another 24 hours. this was devastating for me. i was returned to my room and to hugo around 1pm and shortly after that my parents arrived to visit.

the rest of that day was a bit of a blur. sunday proved to be the day i fell apart. i cried and cried. i couldn't do anything on my own... no getting out of bed for me because of the iv's and catheter meant that if i needed anything or to feed or change hugo i had to call the nurse in to do it for me.
i was also really struggling with breastfeeding. my milk had not come in yet and since hugo was used to getting a whole bottle of formula each feeding now he was not satisfied with the little bit of colostrum he was getting each time that i tried feeding him. so i'd try to feed him and he'd just scream and scream... he was hungry. the lactation consultant had been back and told me that he shouldn't have any more formula if i was planning on breast feeding him. i cried every time i tried feeding him because i knew he was still hungry and i felt like a complete failure.
the nurse who was working sunday night was a godsend. she consoled me and told me that if i had to supplement with formula for the first little while i wasn't failing, i was just doing what was best for my baby and myself.


monday was a long day and i thought that i would be in the hospital for at least another day but i was up and about moving and doing well and hugo was doing well so when the doctor came that afternoon she told me that if i wanted to i could go home. she couldn't have said anything to make me feel better at that point. i was thrilled.
once all the paperwork was done and i was ready to go i was out of there by dinner time.
within hours of getting home my milk was coming in full force.
fernando arrived home around 2am tuesday and for the first time our family was together. it was amazing.


as rocky a start as it may have been at that moment our happily ever after began.


now that i'm settling into a bit more of a routine i'm hoping to get back in the swing of things with this blog and start posting more regularly again.